he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
