I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
