Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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