Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
