Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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