Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He uses pillows to masturbate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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