god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
