you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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