Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
