nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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