What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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