I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
