well you can't waste a boner
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
