he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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