Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
