Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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