Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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