Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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