You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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