He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize