Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
