why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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