she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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