Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
