4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm jealous of your bromance
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
