We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
