I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
