no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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