Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
