Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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