am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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