does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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