I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
