I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
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I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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