What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
