Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I looked at my own cervix.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
