Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
