I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
