I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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