I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
