I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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