Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
