where does the pee come out of this thing
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
