my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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