would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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