you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
