erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
