That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
