I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
