dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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