You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
