Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
