He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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