Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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