So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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