that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
