i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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