Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
