never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
