i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
